Wednesday, March 16, 2011

What is this feeling

So sudden and new?...
I don't understand my feelings right now. I've been really stressed these past few days because of all the homework I have to do. I should be doing it right now, but I seriously can't concentrate. I have been so bla this week. Monday was Nick's birthday, so I called to wish him a happy birthday, didn't answer so I left a message. I then saw that someone had posted happy birthday on his facebook wall, and her name was Jenna, (yes I was creeping. Yes I know, I'm an idiot.) I decided it'd be funny to have two Jenna's post right after each other, so I wished him a happy birthday on FB as well. I put something about it being his 21st and don't drink to much haha! I know he wouldn't, so I was hoping he'd get that I was joking, but yesterday I noticed he'd deleted me as his friend. How immature! If it was about the posting about drinking thing he could have just deleted it and said something to me or posted a comment saying what he really was going to do (unless he was going to get trashed, which I doubt), he didn't have to delete me! Why do I care? No idea other than I hoped we could still be friends and I had this foolish idea that he may be checking up on my on FB like I was him, because we were still to awkward to talk to each other. Apparently I'm an idiot and need to stop kidding myself. He does have every right to hate me though. I mean he had no idea I was going to break up with him until I did it, and since he doesn't feel the same way about religion as I do he probably feels like I'm the biggest pain ever. (I gave up swearing for lent.) We were together for almost 4 years. He probably thinks that I'm a, (fill in dirty word of your choice here), for not realizing this before and ending it sooner, and believe me I think that about myself anyway! I don't know... I just thought it was dumb that he de-friended me sara and mike but none of the other friends he has on there because of me. I kinda feel like, (for most people) deleting people from FB is like deleting them from your little world, because you don't get updates anymore on how they are doing, and that's the point of facebook isn't it? I realize I'm probably over-reacting, but when I haven't talked to him in over two months... I just want to know he's ok! Not that he updated his statuses much anyway, but when he did. Ok, I'M going to stop being a pathetic sap now and post this. I promise I'm not dependent on a guy, but we were together for 3 years... Aaaarrrrg! Shutting up NOW!

Friday, March 11, 2011

SP--East and South

I went to East Elementary yesterday, (Thuosday), for awhile and worked with a woman I'll call Mrs. Goggles. (nickna/e a girl in my class came up with when we were younger.) I had fun helping a boy with figuring out pennies and nickles. He spoke mostly Spanish, so I greeted him and he was all smiles! It was cool. I al helped a fourth grader with multiplication and devision using fake pennies as manipulative. That was cool, because that is what we were learning how to teach before break. I then went and brought the first graders in to the hall in groups of 4, (they wanted to see Bilko and were doing reading groups), and explained to them what Bilko does for me. I had the harness on and had them read his sign, "do not pet me I am working." Then I took off the harness, made hm say sitting, and let them pet him. Mrs. Gogqles was totally amazed how well I handled that with having them read it and everything. I was thinking 'duh! what else would I do? they're first graders! They need to read.' I then talked to my mom's PE class of 3rd graders, and let them hold the harness and then let them come up in 4s to pet him before getting their shoes on.
Today I went to South Elementary and observed Mrs. Kits. She had IEP's part of the day so I got to sit through 2 of them. One the parents only spoke Spanish, and I realized how inadequate my spanish-speaking skills are. I was thinking about minoring in Spanish, but I'm not sure I will. I may try to learn on my own or something. At least enough to get by in parent-teacher conferences. I want to find spanish radio or something to listen too. I'd like to go to Spain next summer, but I don't if that will happen since I kind of want a job for the summer... The resorse room at South has a lot of kids doing lots of different subjects at once. They do tests it there, like math but the teachers aren't aloud to do more than just make sure the problems are set up right. It is interesting to see how they work with several subjects at once. they mostly give one kid a question or problem then help someone ekse than go back when the other kid is done with the question...
I really want to student-teach in Texas, especially with the crappy bill being talked about passing in Ohio. I don't know much about it except its something to do with getting rid of the teacher's union and capping pay at $34,000. That really scares me. What is this country coming to if they're running teachers out of the field? It hasn't passed quite yet but it might, and it will eventually effect everywhere! I'm horrified! how the heck can they do this? Kids NEED TO LEARN! O well, guess I can't do anything about it, so why waste time worrying? (BTW East and South are 2 schools in my town.)

Airport Madness!

from tuesday March 8, 2011
So we're on the plain and almost didn't make it. So when you take a guide dog on a plain you would think you could get to a relieving area to let the dog go before they go on the flight. Well apparently Houston likes to make things complecated! We had sooo many issues coming to find a relieving area!area because nobody knew what they were talking about! the one lady sent us down to bagage where there was one and we couldn't find it because it was on the other side of a parking garage. We went to ask somebody but nobody was in information. somebody did tell us there was 1 in termonal d so we tried there after riding the stupid train for half an hour and going in huge circles because the train went weird ways... don't ask hahaha! we didn't find it in d either so went back to c and decided to go and try and get him to relieve on concrete. I should have kept up on making him do that. we tried to get him to go in front of a cop car, (nobody was in it), but he wouldn't and we had half an hour till boarding. Aunt L, (teachers sister that told us all to call her Aunt), ended up driving us to a patch of grass and he finally went! We then had to rush through security and they scanned my braillenote twice for some reason, but we made it to the plain with time to use the restroom before boarding. few! Talk about stressful!


Over spring break I went to Aldine Texas with the Education department. Actually it was all early childhood majors except me and Dr. P's son. We went to see the Aldine school system. We left Saturday March 4 and came back late Tuesday night. Our flight was delayed 2.5 hours due to who knows what, so we got to Houston around 4:30-ish which would be 5:30-ish in Ohio.
We decided to go to the Texas Rodeo, because most of us wanted to see Billy Kurington, but we missed the concert, so we just went to the huuuge carnival. Sara and I split yummy barbecue ribs and funnel cake. We were going to ride rides but decided not to do that, because the tickets were expensive. We got back to the hotel around 11:30 in Texas which was 12:30 in Ohio so pretty late.
On Sunday we went to Nasa space station in Houston and took a tram tour of some of the buildings including the old mission control center that was used for the first landing on the moon in 1969, and also the training center for the astronauts. It was cool, but I do wish I could have seen them. We went through a building that was the whole space craft that was the length of the building. It showed the rocket boosters as well. I also got an "audio tour" which was basically an MP3 player and a sheet with numbers that you typed into the player to hear what they said about whatever you were looking at, but I just ended up typing in some numbers to hear information since I obviously couldn't see what was around me anyway. Sara and I got dip-and-dots! They were sooo good! We had trouble getting the vending machine to work. Yeah, a vending machine for dip-and-dots. Weird, huh? We finally went to the actual stand and got them.
After Nasa we went to Galviston, (which I didn't realize is completely an island), and after driving around for awhile looking at houses and trying to decide where to eat, walked around on the beach. Bilko loved running around on his flexy leash. He even went into the canal for a little bit! It wasn't deep at all and no waves but he did like walking around in it. He did drink salt water, and I kept having to stop him, so I fed him and he drank pretty much a full bottle of water.
We finally decided to go eat at some famous Texas place called Lubi's, but it wasn't there anymore, so we went to this Italian and seafood restaurant called Mario's and I got lobster-stuffed ravioli that was quite good and jelato for desert. It was good. I'd never had and before, but the meal and it were expensive. $25 for everything. We had a really cool waiter who gave us tons of samples of jelato and Sara and I took a picture with him.
Monday we went to a EC Pre-k school that was a public pre-k-- weird since we don't have them in Ohio. It was a montessorri school for economically disadvantaged children. Here are my notes from it:
Preschool: montessorri schools are very structured and quiet. Did a song about reading before reading a book. (Read a book called The Cow Boy mouse. Haha!) Read aloud together. The teacher read the book but the kids did read it too. Lots of repetitions. They use a lot more difficult words than many preschools. Lots of singing. Lots of repetition used in instruction and memory techniques. Sounding out words. 100% participation (everyone gets to participate.) Visuals for everything. A lot of songs that the students sing to tell peers good job. (That's the way I like it for example.) Songs for rule following. lots of songs and motions. (I am happy when you follow the rules. I am sad when you don't follow the rules. to the tune of if your happy and you know it.) I don't like how she used pink for girls and blue for boys when giving students writing paper. The classroom is very colorful and everything is labeled. The curriculum now is what we learned in kindergarten. LOTS of repetition. They repeated the learning goals for the lessens after the teacher said them. In gym they were more like typical kids. They played a game where they had a "magic clip" and whoever had the clip had to run around the room until they found their partner and then they had to go get the number of beanbags that was said and take them back to their spot. They shared, practiced counting, and got exercise as well as listening. The teacher also had a moddle of what the kids were supposed to do on the mats, (where they put the beanbags), on the wall.
When they spell things a lot of times they just have the kids sound it out. (cow, Ca-ah-wa.)
The special Ed class wasn't as montessorri based because of having to teach to IEPS. Many of the kids have language problems. The second teacher was louder than the first, the classroom also seemed more open. The students were also more talkative. She didn't use the cards either. The walls aren't as crowded. She did a lot of repetition. The cards were used for when they were at stations. After we got back Sara and I wanted to go to the hot-tub, but didn't have much time, so we went for like 15 minutes and came back to get back in our professional clothes to go to a meeting the BG grads working in aldine. I looove Aldine! I'm not sure intervention majors can apply to student teach there, but I really want to! It is amazzzing! We had a wonderful "ar salking to the PR guy that does all the hiring of teachers in Aldine, and some BG grads that are now teaching in Aldine. We then just hung out in our hotel rooms for the night because we were all tired.
Tuesday we went to this engineering school for K-4. Yeah! An entineering-based elementary school! They had sessions where they did different types of engineering, although I didn't get to see any. It was really neat! Here are my notes from that day:
4th grade at an engineering and math science elementary school. Class 1 room number 30. She starts out with a warmup activity for the class, (a packet), she is reading the activity too 2 kids. A lot of independent work is done at the beginning of her class. This teacher randomly sings her instructions! Hahahaha! The class came up with weird words to make sure they had the right multiple choice letter. (one kid said "call of duty," when she said "cookie" for C haha!) She used "tree diagrams" for organizing answers from two groups, (how many colors combinations can you get when...) Sometimes they play basketball where they get to answer questions against another group and whenever someone gets an answer right they get to shoot. (Didn't actually do this but was told about it.) The entire class went to the bathroom at once and went in groups of 3 guys and 3 girls. Read homework problems aloud to check them. Played a math game with angles where the teacher drew a bunch of lines on the board and the students had to write what angles they saw, (they were numbered.) One person was at the board and the rest were answering at their seats. If everyone got the answer right the team got a point, and if the person at the board got it right they got another point. Teacher was very enthusiastic, and repeated instructions a lot. She has multiple classes. The second class she actually practiced the "geometry Simon says," which she didn't practice before playing the game with the first class. (Right, obtuse, acute, translation, reflection, rotation, perpendicular, intersecting, parallel, line.)
Classroom 2: She graduated from Toledo U! Teaches reading but incorporates writing and language as well. Uses smart board. Plays trash can basketball and other games for TAX preparation. She also does "Bubba Bucks" which means every time kids do homework, answer questions in class etc they get bucks and when they don't do homework etc they pay her and can spend them at her "store" once a month. Teaches budgeting money. Does crafts to go along with books. She lets them be very creative. As long as they have what is needed for grading they can do what they want with the project. They do not have much art so she incorporates it into lessons. (Not much music either. Once every two weeks.)
The special education teachers in Texas co-teach and work with the students in special ed in inclusion settings. TAX is harder than OAT and determins whether or not the students pass the grade. If not they go to summer school. Everything in her classroom is labeled and she has students that are "table captains" that make sure everything is put away. Flash cards for sentences and sentence structure. Has set of paint strips, (free from Loes), that say A B C D and they kids use a close pin to show the answer and they can pick what color paint strip they want. A CD with prefixes, suffixes etc and they spin it and whatever there finger is pointed to when spin stops is what they have to use for the sentence, (also free.) MANY free reading activities.
Overall I think the elementary school convinced me more than the Pre-K since I can teach elementary. I loooved it! I'm totally going to apply for student teaching! (well if possible. I'll check into it when I get back to school.)
We had tex-mex for dinner and then went to the airport where the next crazy adventure began!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Women's Weekend 2011

So this was from... like two weeks ago? It seems a lot longer hahaha! I'm posting my direct notes. I talked to the speaker afterword since friday nights talk totally applied to me, and she gave me some really good advice since I'd been thinking that I was pushing Nick away from God by breaking up with him... "You can't be God for him," she said. I know and I know all I can do now is pray for him, but it's sooo hard! We prayed together and she said she will continue praying for him.
Anyway... here are the notes. The parenthesis are just my thoughts, and most of the quotes are songs. Please let me know if this makes sence to anybody else. haha!

February 19, 2011
Expect more from God, guys, and life.
John 10 10.
You can have all God has for you, joy etc. John 4 4:14. Jesus wants to be the living water in your life. Living water satisfies like nothing can. You have had moments where you feel the living water, but then as life goes on your "cup" empties. We don't always go to God but to other things, "broken systerns. Jeremia 2 13 My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.
Instead of us (young women) go to living water, we build our own broken sisterns to try to fill up our own life. Guys, friends, shopping etc. We all desire marriage, so we settle for less than God's best. We don't feel fully satisfied in God so we settle for a guy who isn't quite right for you. You attract the guys, but if you dress to show...
Careers: Some people buy to what others want for life and not what God wants. what society says is popular, cool, etc and we buy into it. This leaves us empty. We settle. what have you been settling for? Settling in your relationship with God? Have you settled for a mediochar relationship with God? Settling with guys? Life?
(I have been settling with God lately. Thankyou God for getting me out of the relationship with Nick, because I know I was settling for him. He was not what you want for me, but God please help me to grow closer to you and not settle for how my relationship with you is now.) Paula settled for a guy for 4 years, he was a semi-Christian. She settled again for a Christian guy, but it ended up not being the right guy. If you surrender the ways you have settled, God is the living water. God comes first. Its about God. Philipians 3 13:14.
"You are more" Tenth Ave North. (I did the right thing! God have so much more in store for me!) "Here in my life," "One Pure and Holy Passion,"

February 19, 2011
("if I could not say a word... grace means your holding me to you.")
M: making him number one.
Whats the first thing you think about in the morning? Commit to spending time with God. We set time aside for facebook, but not God.
Mark 1 35. Jesus got alone to spend time with the Lord. Mathew 6 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
acts prayer: adoration, confession, thanksgiving, suplication ofaka prayer.) don't actually request anything from God unill S.
O: Offer up your plans. Paula went into college freshman year with no idea what she wanted and no guy. Got a guy but didn't work out. Proverbs 16 9, proverbs 19 21, 20 24, Jeremia 29 11.
R: Release what you are clinging to. Release the desire to be married. If you think your not beautiful this is something your clinging to. God knows who your husband is, and he will be attracted to you for the right reasons. Think of tray of cookies, you chose a little one, but don't realize a they're holding a big cookie for you, but you don't get it because you settled. Men are like cookies. Don't settle for the little cookie. Matthew 10 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. E: expect God's best. Ephesians 3 20. 1 Corinthians 2 9 However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"

We have to wait for God's best. "Marriage is good but its not God, guys are good but they are not God." (Quote from Paula.) God says that he is more than enough for me. "Wait For Me," by Rebecca St James. Jesus' love letter to us. (in packet) Psalms 27 14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

(Last Session)
God is pationatly in love with you. What to look for to NOT settle:
1. Does he *LOVE Jesus? A guy whose pation persute and lifestyle reflects his walk with Jesus. Is his life marked by servanthood and daily looking at God's word. Why settle for someone less than Christ-follower husband? 2 Corinthians 6 14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
1 corinthians 15 33 Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."
I am worth it.
2. Is he pursuing me? Is he pursuing my heart or pursuing my body? If he has a radar screen of other girls, don't settle for a guy that has you on the radar screen!
3. What is God saying to you about this specific guy? Go to God and find out what he says about this guy, pray about it and be open to his words. Iseah 30 21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, This is the way; walk in it.
Listen to God even if you don't like the answer.
Have a type of guy you want but focus on who God is making you to be. Stay focused on Jesus and put your worth in him and not guys or yourself. Triangle: you, him, top point, Jesus. Both of you go after same goal of running toward Christ. Always seek christ. revelation 2 4 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.
Stay focused on Jesus and do not forget him.
2. Dress modestly. Look at God more than the mirror. Work more on heart than appearance. Proverbs 11 22 Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.

"Beauty is abused by those who have not modisty with it."
3. Guard your heart. Proverbs 4 3. Whatever you have in your heart can control you.
"A woman's heart should be so hidden in christ that a man would have to seek Him to find her." (unknown)
4. Remember to have a realistic view of marriage. Marriage is not a fairy tail. The Reason For God by Timothy Keller. Plan for your marriage and not your wedding. Keep waiting and DO NOT settle for anything less than God's best.